It's not a lack of wanting to. I'd love to meet your daughter, for one thing. [ Turns out they're going to meet in the least favorable situation, but anyway. ]

I have a hard time getting into what I did, especially with anyone who is generally understanding. Being soothed or comforted feels like it's diminishing the weight of it. And then I start arguing because I feel I have to, on behalf of those I wronged so horribly, and it starts to sound like I just want to be miserable. It's never gone well.