Right, because you don't know the specifics. You of all people would probably be safest to talk about it with, I'm sure you've seen everything. But I still don't want to. Not yet.

Training is... going. The trouble is that in order to really make progress I'll need to be tested in ways that might make it happen again. I'll have to let go of the tight grip I have on my control. Last time that happened I hurt one of my partners immeasurably and a whole slew of others. That's not an easy thing to risk.