Are you trying? Or are you thinking that if you just give in to them that people will figure out that they are better off without you even though they all keep saying they're not?
If willing them away isn't working, you gotta try something else. You say it happens over and over and over again but is it always the exact same? Is it always the same mistake or does it just feel like it is because it's easier to blame yourself than think about how it all actually got fucked up? Because then you'd have to put some of that blame on the people you love most and that feels wrong and it hurts and makes you feel even worse but maybe, just maybe, it isn't all on you and it's time you actually try thinking about it like that.
There's only so much you can will away and bury and hope nothing ever brings it up again because then are you learning or are you just bottling everything up inside and hoping to Buddha it explodes at the right person at the right time so no one ever has to see it aimed at them?
Re: Action
If willing them away isn't working, you gotta try something else. You say it happens over and over and over again but is it always the exact same? Is it always the same mistake or does it just feel like it is because it's easier to blame yourself than think about how it all actually got fucked up? Because then you'd have to put some of that blame on the people you love most and that feels wrong and it hurts and makes you feel even worse but maybe, just maybe, it isn't all on you and it's time you actually try thinking about it like that.
There's only so much you can will away and bury and hope nothing ever brings it up again because then are you learning or are you just bottling everything up inside and hoping to Buddha it explodes at the right person at the right time so no one ever has to see it aimed at them?