[ His smile usually makes her feel better, today is no exception -- only there's only so effective a smile can be. She can't tell if she's making things overly complicated or they really are that complicated. ] Yeah, I like that idea. It'll be something to have when I wake up from hibernation.
[ Did she tell Caeli about her hibernation cycle? Ah well no time to remember, time to ramble! ]
Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer, but... [ okay ] You and Zhongli both see other people too, right? Or something like that. [ She knows about Venti, at least. ] A lot of the problem is I feel like I have to hide stuff. Doctor knows about the others and he's okay with it, but I feel like it's another matter to whine about my lover's spats with other people right in front of him. I don't want him to be worried that he's not my priority or something. It's not like I'd agree to marry just anybody.
And this last time, with Hurricane and Nemesis both going at the same time, I didn't want to let my missing Nem suck up all the oxygen when he's hurt himself. I even stopped taking memories because -- well, a lot of reasons, but partially because I don't want to be a drain on the people I love. I feel like all they do is mop me up because I get so intense about things. So I haven't bought a memory in seven weeks.
I know I sound a little nuts, I'm just tired of being the selfish one. They deserve better. [ Realizing what she's saying and -- facepalm ] ...And of course now here I am doing the thing I promised myself I wouldn't. Sorry.
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Re: Day 497
Date: Sep. 7th, 2022 03:33 am (UTC)[ Did she tell Caeli about her hibernation cycle? Ah well no time to remember, time to ramble! ]
Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer, but... [ okay ] You and Zhongli both see other people too, right? Or something like that. [ She knows about Venti, at least. ] A lot of the problem is I feel like I have to hide stuff. Doctor knows about the others and he's okay with it, but I feel like it's another matter to whine about my lover's spats with other people right in front of him. I don't want him to be worried that he's not my priority or something. It's not like I'd agree to marry just anybody.
And this last time, with Hurricane and Nemesis both going at the same time, I didn't want to let my missing Nem suck up all the oxygen when he's hurt himself. I even stopped taking memories because -- well, a lot of reasons, but partially because I don't want to be a drain on the people I love. I feel like all they do is mop me up because I get so intense about things. So I haven't bought a memory in seven weeks.
I know I sound a little nuts, I'm just tired of being the selfish one. They deserve better. [ Realizing what she's saying and -- facepalm ] ...And of course now here I am doing the thing I promised myself I wouldn't. Sorry.
[ she covered a lot of ground at least! ]