And maybe after I get better control, I'll feel differently. I'm open to that... I'd love for it to be true. Right now, it just isn't.
I'm not sure those are analogous examples. You made bad choices out of ignorance or what have you, and you'd do differently now, but they were still choices. You weren't unable to decide for yourself. When I'm out of control, there aren't even thoughts in my head. It's not selfishness or impulsivity, it's a frenzy that I couldn't stop if I wanted to... if I even had wants.
And with MK, the weremonkey is a curse. Something inflicted on him. My situation is that I have these predatory instincts always whispering to me. Telling me to dominate and destroy everything around me. I hate it, but it's part of me. With me, it's not an altering of who or what I am, it's removal of my control over the dark impulses.
I don't really know what MK's natural monkey form is like, but has he ever slaughtered an entire city, one by one? Stopped to hack at the corpses just to inflict more torment on them? I don't think he has, from all he's said. So it's not the same.
...That's what makes me think your training could work, because it's strengthening control that is already there, just not strongly enough. I don't think the impulses will ever be gone, there will just be less danger that they'll be able to take over.
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Date: Oct. 27th, 2023 09:58 pm (UTC)I'm not sure those are analogous examples. You made bad choices out of ignorance or what have you, and you'd do differently now, but they were still choices. You weren't unable to decide for yourself. When I'm out of control, there aren't even thoughts in my head. It's not selfishness or impulsivity, it's a frenzy that I couldn't stop if I wanted to... if I even had wants.
And with MK, the weremonkey is a curse. Something inflicted on him. My situation is that I have these predatory instincts always whispering to me. Telling me to dominate and destroy everything around me. I hate it, but it's part of me. With me, it's not an altering of who or what I am, it's removal of my control over the dark impulses.
I don't really know what MK's natural monkey form is like, but has he ever slaughtered an entire city, one by one? Stopped to hack at the corpses just to inflict more torment on them? I don't think he has, from all he's said. So it's not the same.
...That's what makes me think your training could work, because it's strengthening control that is already there, just not strongly enough. I don't think the impulses will ever be gone, there will just be less danger that they'll be able to take over.