I spent years, centuries, being told, conditioned, manipulated, to put my own feelings last. To become a monster and a genocidal killer of my own family for the sake of the world and everyone in it. And then I went to Hell to be tortured and I had to do the same thing for the sake of myself and those relying on me not being tortured even worse.
There have been exactly two times that I put my own feelings first. Once was ten minutes before Haji died, and the other was in Hell where I insisted on not sending out poison in that game I told you about, where my punishment was hurting and trying to kill everyone I loved and getting chained up like a dog for five days.
I get the point you're making and not one bit of it makes me less afraid to give my own feelings any priority whatsoever.
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Re: Amnesiakong start day
Date: Dec. 17th, 2023 03:46 am (UTC)I spent years, centuries, being told, conditioned, manipulated, to put my own feelings last. To become a monster and a genocidal killer of my own family for the sake of the world and everyone in it. And then I went to Hell to be tortured and I had to do the same thing for the sake of myself and those relying on me not being tortured even worse.
There have been exactly two times that I put my own feelings first. Once was ten minutes before Haji died, and the other was in Hell where I insisted on not sending out poison in that game I told you about, where my punishment was hurting and trying to kill everyone I loved and getting chained up like a dog for five days.
I get the point you're making and not one bit of it makes me less afraid to give my own feelings any priority whatsoever.