[ He's free to take it personally, that's his business. What was done to her for centuries, and what was done to her in her last place of residence, and what's been done to her here by certain people, using her want to trust others and her big heart against her in some of the worst ways imaginable... they tend to make one a bit paranoid. And Saya knows exactly how mentally fragile she is. ]
Like I said, you don't seem the type. [ If he wanted to mess with her, the treanpire aftermath would have been the time. ]
By the same token... if you ever see me acting unlike myself, get away from me by whatever means necessary. Whatever you have to do. Some of the effects I've seen here, if they ever sent me in the wrong mental direction, could be very dangerous. Speaking from very unfortunate experience, if that happens I can't be talked down with logic. Just appeased. Lie if you have to.
I don't want to hurt anyone either, but I have. I easily could. Given a strong enough set of drugs, I absolutely will. And waking up from that spell and realizing what I've done is something I never want to experience again.
[He'd balk to hear that she had such bad experiences even here on Ellipsa. The worst that happened to him since his arrival, in terms of interpersonal unpleasantries, has been not getting along with Ozymandias and getting bullied by some little girls. How could Saya constantly attract such misfortune?
He listens carefully to her words, and the discomfort creeps in bit by bit. This is how he feels whenever Rosen suddenly demonstrates his power after he aggravated him enough... that sense of inferiority, of weakness. Back home he only deals with other mortals - humans and amanto -, and if anyone there warned him that they might go berserk on drugs or such (which actually has happened when people overdosed on some newfangled imported stuff from outer space), he'd be able to give them a cocky grin and assure them that he'll take care of them if need be. Here? With these powerful immortals? Not so much.]
...
I'll keep it in mind.
[He should say something more - thank her for cautioning him, maybe - but instead he just finishes his sandwich in a few bites. This better not have been foreshadowing.]
[ Unfortunately, when you're powerful, disgusting people see that the benefit in using you for their own purposes outweighs the risks. ]
[ She wrings out the shirt and vest again and seems satisfied that the stain is gone. ]
I didn't mean to alarm you. Hopefully it's just hell making me paranoid. But better safe than sorry, right?
I didn't have that conversation until it was too late before, is all. And you're a good person, which means you might be inclined to give me the benefit of the doubt.
That said, I'm not sure it's very likely. Ellipsa seems to lean much less toward that sort of extreme effect. Thankfully.
It's not naïve to think the best of things. Or hope for it.
[ Alas, it's not something Saya can fathom when it comes to herself, what she's capable of given the wrong set of circumstances, but it's a nice thought. ]
I think you're right about the intentions. I hope we can help them.
What the natives see as dangerous and what's actually dangerous when applied to a monster like me, though, are very often different. And it's not their job to protect others from me, it's mine.
[He smiles, but he still means it. He can't really imagine what it's like to be at risk of losing control of one's powers and harming innocents, even one's own loved ones... once more he feels glad that, if nothing else, Saya has a solid support system around her here.]
It's what anyone in my position would do. [ Never mind that most of the others in her position didn't. Saya still believes people are good, against all odds. ]
Thank you for not... running, I guess. For not being afraid of me. Plenty of people have been. I don't blame them, of course, but that doesn't make it a fun thing to know.
[ While she talks, she threads a needle and begins sewing up the slice in his shirt and vest. She seems practiced at it. ]
[He hesitated to say that - his experience as a "demon child" and "thorny boy" whom people avoided due to his half-feral, violent behaviour certainly doesn't measure up to the actual abuse and persecution Saya experienced. He was, after all, still a human among humans. But the feeling of being an outcast, of other people being scared of you, is something he can understand all too well.]
[ Saya doesn't compare her life to others (usually)(and she's trying to get better about it). Pain is pain. Exclusion is exclusion. He doesn't have to fit some minimum amount of misery for her to be empathetic. ]
[ She walks around the counter to sit beside Hijikata with her sewing. Rests her hand on his arm. ]
[It's not only the general possibility of being met with a derisive response along the lines of "What do you know?" (which Saya, in fairness, has given him absolutely no reason to expect from her) that made him hesitate, it's also the opposite - pity. Hijikata doesn't want pity for his shoddy adolescence.
Her simple response isn't that, it's just sympathy - something he can easily accept. He smiles again, running his own hand over hers for a moment (a bold move from him). His life has been a lot better for quite some years already.]
Well, you know what they say: What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
[They both found people who accepted them, after all.]
[He makes a small amused sound under his breath. In Saya's case everything made her stronger, he reckons, for lack of the alternative option. He returns the hand squeeze.]
I'm glad, too. I'm going to have to get a lot stronger still, if I want to keep up with you and Rosen.
[He knows he won't be able to ever reach either of their level, but the same stubbornness that prevents him from ever asking Rosen to give him a break is making him think "But what if?".]
[That man..! Of course he'd be intrigued by a woman who can beat his ass. Hijikata still can't help but feel somewhat pleased about the two of them being in a relationship. Even on a purely visual level they stand out from the crowd, tiny pretty Saya and tall flamboyant Rosen. What a glamour couple!]
Don't tell him that you handed my ass to me like this, alright? He'd laugh at me.
[He's clearly joking - if Rosen does find out and tease him he'll just retort that apparently he didn't win against Saya either.]
[ "Glamour couple" indeed. Hijikata hasn't even seen her prettiest form yet. ]
You're not telling me what to say to my own partner, are you? [ Her tone is obviously teasing. ] He'd better assume I beat anyone I fought, or he'll be in a mess of trouble.
...I am glad he has so many he's getting close to. If I'm asleep for fifty years, I want him to be all right.
[He snorts, but as she speaks on he turns serious.]
If that happens...
[No one can stand in for Saya. Well, she's not expecting that, anyway. She just doesn't want her loved ones to be alone while grappling with her long absence... her loss, really; the loss of the Saya they knew.]
I'll do my best to keep an eye on him.
[It's a bit of a flimsy promise - just how well can a human keep an eye on an arcana -, but he will do his best, and if he sees Rosen suffer he'll try to be there for him, like a dog would be there for its tiger friend, bringing in bones that are too small to make for satisfying chew toys. Hopefully it won't have to come to that.]
[ Normally Saya doesn't think she's all that important to people, nor should she be, but she knows better with Rosen so Hijikata is spared her low-self-esteem-babble on the subject. ]
Thank you.
You should do that even while I'm awake. Goodness knows he likes being looked at, and rightly so. There's a reason we get along so well.
Well, I can't spend all my time admiring him. I've got other obligations.
[This is silly banter, but between his police job, all the quests he tackles, and the dependents(???) he somehow managed to amass he really is busy - and Rosen knows, of course, having gotten him stressed by keeping him up at work before.
His eyes wander to Saya's sewing hands... she works fast!]
Do you have to mend clothes often?
[If doesn't seem far-fetched, given her love of a good battle.]
Don't we all. Thankfully I work at night, it gives me plenty of time to admire whoever's available. [ There's a reason she'd need three extra hands to count up all her partners. ]
Often enough. I have to alter my clothes to make them backless. I never know when I'll need my wings in a hurry. And then there's all the fighting.
I used to do more of it, both practical stuff like this and other needlework. Back in the day that was something all women were trained to do.
[Wings... Hijikata tries to imagine what it would be like to be able to grow them at will, but then he realises that he, too, can technically have that experience (or a similar one, at least) via partial animal transformation. He wonders if he'll have to transform his arms... back on Avalon he got "extra" wings via familiar fusion with his tengu partner, but here on Ellipsa he'll have to make do with his own abilities.
Something else about what Saya said made him curious, though.]
What do you work as?
[He somehow didn't expect her to have a regular job!]
[ It's kind of a Story. And it's evident that she's slightly embarrassed about it. ]
Venti took me to this club with a goth theme. I didn't really appreciate the style much, just because it's such a vampire stereotype. But the manager spotted my eyes and fangs and cornered me and wanted me to work there. I said no way, he said he'll make it worth my while, I said definitely not, he said what would it take to get you to agree, I named an absolutely ridiculous set of conditions and a salary that no one would ever agree to, and he said "Done".
So basically I work at the bar a few hours a night and get paid ludicrously well for it. ...Strictly look and no touch, of course. Occasionally I have to toss someone out on their ear. And all my friends get free drinks, that was one of my conditions. [ It keeps Venti well buttered without her entire paycheck going to wine. ]
It's sort of exploitative, but it lets me pay for my share of the expenses and save some money so that after I'm asleep there will be something left for my housemates.
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Like I said, you don't seem the type. [ If he wanted to mess with her, the treanpire aftermath would have been the time. ]
By the same token... if you ever see me acting unlike myself, get away from me by whatever means necessary. Whatever you have to do. Some of the effects I've seen here, if they ever sent me in the wrong mental direction, could be very dangerous. Speaking from very unfortunate experience, if that happens I can't be talked down with logic. Just appeased. Lie if you have to.
I don't want to hurt anyone either, but I have. I easily could. Given a strong enough set of drugs, I absolutely will. And waking up from that spell and realizing what I've done is something I never want to experience again.
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He listens carefully to her words, and the discomfort creeps in bit by bit. This is how he feels whenever Rosen suddenly demonstrates his power after he aggravated him enough... that sense of inferiority, of weakness. Back home he only deals with other mortals - humans and amanto -, and if anyone there warned him that they might go berserk on drugs or such (which actually has happened when people overdosed on some newfangled imported stuff from outer space), he'd be able to give them a cocky grin and assure them that he'll take care of them if need be. Here? With these powerful immortals? Not so much.]
...
I'll keep it in mind.
[He should say something more - thank her for cautioning him, maybe - but instead he just finishes his sandwich in a few bites. This better not have been foreshadowing.]
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[ She wrings out the shirt and vest again and seems satisfied that the stain is gone. ]
I didn't mean to alarm you. Hopefully it's just hell making me paranoid. But better safe than sorry, right?
I didn't have that conversation until it was too late before, is all. And you're a good person, which means you might be inclined to give me the benefit of the doubt.
That said, I'm not sure it's very likely. Ellipsa seems to lean much less toward that sort of extreme effect. Thankfully.
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[He definitely does agree with that, even if he does hope that he won't actually end up in a situation where he'll have to apply her advice.]
Call me naive, but I do believe that the people here really just need our help. So far we've always been warned of any danger.
[So far.]
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[ Alas, it's not something Saya can fathom when it comes to herself, what she's capable of given the wrong set of circumstances, but it's a nice thought. ]
I think you're right about the intentions. I hope we can help them.
What the natives see as dangerous and what's actually dangerous when applied to a monster like me, though, are very often different. And it's not their job to protect others from me, it's mine.
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[He smiles, but he still means it. He can't really imagine what it's like to be at risk of losing control of one's powers and harming innocents, even one's own loved ones... once more he feels glad that, if nothing else, Saya has a solid support system around her here.]
Thank you for looking out for us.
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Thank you for not... running, I guess. For not being afraid of me. Plenty of people have been. I don't blame them, of course, but that doesn't make it a fun thing to know.
[ While she talks, she threads a needle and begins sewing up the slice in his shirt and vest. She seems practiced at it. ]
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I know.
[He hesitated to say that - his experience as a "demon child" and "thorny boy" whom people avoided due to his half-feral, violent behaviour certainly doesn't measure up to the actual abuse and persecution Saya experienced. He was, after all, still a human among humans. But the feeling of being an outcast, of other people being scared of you, is something he can understand all too well.]
You've given me no reason to run from you.
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[ She walks around the counter to sit beside Hijikata with her sewing. Rests her hand on his arm. ]
I'm sorry you know.
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Her simple response isn't that, it's just sympathy - something he can easily accept. He smiles again, running his own hand over hers for a moment (a bold move from him). His life has been a lot better for quite some years already.]
Well, you know what they say: What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
[They both found people who accepted them, after all.]
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I'm fairly sure the calculus is different when you don't die, but I catch your meaning.
And I'm very glad you're stronger instead of the alternative.
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I'm glad, too. I'm going to have to get a lot stronger still, if I want to keep up with you and Rosen.
[He knows he won't be able to ever reach either of their level, but the same stubbornness that prevents him from ever asking Rosen to give him a break is making him think "But what if?".]
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[ She needs both hands for sewing, alas. ]
But for the record, I beat Rosen pretty handily. I think that's part of why he was interested at first.
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[That man..! Of course he'd be intrigued by a woman who can beat his ass. Hijikata still can't help but feel somewhat pleased about the two of them being in a relationship. Even on a purely visual level they stand out from the crowd, tiny pretty Saya and tall flamboyant Rosen. What a glamour couple!]
Don't tell him that you handed my ass to me like this, alright? He'd laugh at me.
[He's clearly joking - if Rosen does find out and tease him he'll just retort that apparently he didn't win against Saya either.]
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You're not telling me what to say to my own partner, are you? [ Her tone is obviously teasing. ] He'd better assume I beat anyone I fought, or he'll be in a mess of trouble.
...I am glad he has so many he's getting close to. If I'm asleep for fifty years, I want him to be all right.
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If that happens...
[No one can stand in for Saya. Well, she's not expecting that, anyway. She just doesn't want her loved ones to be alone while grappling with her long absence... her loss, really; the loss of the Saya they knew.]
I'll do my best to keep an eye on him.
[It's a bit of a flimsy promise - just how well can a human keep an eye on an arcana -, but he will do his best, and if he sees Rosen suffer he'll try to be there for him, like a dog would be there for its tiger friend, bringing in bones that are too small to make for satisfying chew toys. Hopefully it won't have to come to that.]
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Thank you.
You should do that even while I'm awake. Goodness knows he likes being looked at, and rightly so. There's a reason we get along so well.
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[This is silly banter, but between his police job, all the quests he tackles, and the dependents(???) he somehow managed to amass he really is busy - and Rosen knows, of course, having gotten him stressed by keeping him up at work before.
His eyes wander to Saya's sewing hands... she works fast!]
Do you have to mend clothes often?
[If doesn't seem far-fetched, given her love of a good battle.]
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Often enough. I have to alter my clothes to make them backless. I never know when I'll need my wings in a hurry. And then there's all the fighting.
I used to do more of it, both practical stuff like this and other needlework. Back in the day that was something all women were trained to do.
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Something else about what Saya said made him curious, though.]
What do you work as?
[He somehow didn't expect her to have a regular job!]
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[ It's kind of a Story. And it's evident that she's slightly embarrassed about it. ]
Venti took me to this club with a goth theme. I didn't really appreciate the style much, just because it's such a vampire stereotype. But the manager spotted my eyes and fangs and cornered me and wanted me to work there. I said no way, he said he'll make it worth my while, I said definitely not, he said what would it take to get you to agree, I named an absolutely ridiculous set of conditions and a salary that no one would ever agree to, and he said "Done".
So basically I work at the bar a few hours a night and get paid ludicrously well for it. ...Strictly look and no touch, of course. Occasionally I have to toss someone out on their ear. And all my friends get free drinks, that was one of my conditions. [ It keeps Venti well buttered without her entire paycheck going to wine. ]
It's sort of exploitative, but it lets me pay for my share of the expenses and save some money so that after I'm asleep there will be something left for my housemates.
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[This is news to him!! Venti doesn't look the part at all!]