He can get ahead of himself. Its the hero way. Rush off to help without really thinking it through. [A sigh.] If he had said something before had, I could have told him I had a tablet we could do tests with.
...more than likely, yes. Its a recorder. A robust recorder, to be sure, but if there is no reference, it can't make a copy. It likely only got as much of you as it did was because you went into it.
He was trying to help. He's probably not used to a situation he can't solve. I'd have told him no myself if I weren't completely out of it at the time. This was while I was still missing most of my memories. By the time I asked him what he meant, he had already requested the scroll.
In any case, I'm almost relieved. It would have been tempting if it had my whole history in there, and I can't imagine anything worse than walking through hundreds or thousands of years of memories that are mostly death and torture.
He has encountered situations he can't solve right away, and usually has to go back to them again. The whole reason we worked together during the Spider Queen thing was because he couldn't think of anything, so he decided to trust my plan. They had thought I was working for her at first, so that's where we were on the trusting scale.
That was also my concern. Its why I was going to wait a while to even try the tablet. Rewatching it all, especially that way...it could be far too overwhelming.
[ She was more referencing her hibernation as a problem that's impossible to solve, but if she says that then he won't love hearing it and she deeply doesn't want to have that discussion again. ]
Getting memories back suddenly, even one by one, is a shock to the system in my experience. We all went through it where we were last, and when you experience them in that way, devoid of all the surrounding context, it's more apt to cause distress.
[Not impossible. Just very hard. And still, not a reason to rush head long.]
Hm, that does make sense. That's why I want to be careful about that. At least that should be more doable. There's plenty of magic for recalling past lives and old memories.
Just...first we need to make sure you stay awake first. So that was a secondary concern.
[ Saya has always been sure that any attempt to retrieve her lost memories will be a disaster of epic proportions, but if she sleeps this time there's really no alternative. She needs these memories. Hopefully Red Son knows enough to make sure she's appropriately restrained, however much she'll hate that. ]
I'm sure you'll figure it all out in the proper order. Staying awake is far and away the first priority. It's the first fifty. [ After this cure test actually works she will push hard not to pursue her past memories. Too much could go wrong, and all she knows of her past tells her that she doesn't want them. She doesn't want her past back, she only wants to keep her present. ]
[ -- They've gotten off track. Saya cups his face in her hands and leans close, fighting exhaustion. ] I'm sorry. We don't need to talk about that right now.
How long of a break are you taking? [ She needs to lay down. She'd prefer not to do it alone. ]
It is. [Memories is a conversation for later. He could understand why she doesn't want them and....well, he offered to help and he won't take it back. But he wouldn't be terribly inclined to push.]
[Not for that.]
There hours. [He gently touches her cheek, pulling her close to kiss her forehead.] If things went well, you would want affection.
...if it had gone badly, I'd have to work through the feelings somewhere. [It's hard to silence the dark thoughts.]
But I thought it'd most likely be the affection thing.
[ Her skin is noticeably cooler than usual. Cooler than the last few days, even. ]
[ She hums when he says what he would have done if this had gone badly. She can't blame him for considering it, she'd have done the same. She did do the same, as a matter of fact. ]
If your breaks are based on how often I want affection, your poor workshop will be deserted. [ She knows he just means now, her tone is obviously teasing. Besides it's not like she's constantly here, she has three thousand beds to rotate through. ]
Would you want to rest with me a while? [ And they can just pretend it's purely affectionate and not because she can't stay on her feet much longer. ]
[She's definitely getting closer. Its fine. He can keep her warm, he's hot enough for three people.]
[Red Son was an overthinker and its easier to deal with the bad things if he already has a plan. And if he is ready to deal with the bad things, its easier to conquer his anxiety and take the risk.]
[He chuckles.] I really wanted to indulge you right now. Sometimes its fun when you have to persuade me. [He kisses her neck affectionately.]
I would. Do you want to stay here or move to the bedroom?
[ The warmth of his body and the affection in his actions feel very good, enough to distract moderately from how tired she is and how miserable that makes her. ]
[ She curls closer, sliding an arm around him. ] Sorry about the cold. But you're helping.
[ Lightly huffing at the payback comment. Yeah, eagerly awaiting for a few decades... she swallows hard and wills herself not to get emotional. No ruining this further. ]
Payback in spades. I'm a whirlwind of affection as a hatchling.
Ah. Then there will be no complaints when my hands wander. [ In this case, moving to stroke through his hair, since she loves doing it. ]
[ The thought of how long it might be before she remembers properly and can get that payback hits especially hard right now. She tries not to show it, but she's awful at hiding things. ]
I think the whirlwind of affection still applies, in that case.
Never, you say. I'm writing that down for the future. [ Dangerous, dangerous promises. ]
[ She swallows hard when he kisses her head. It doesn't feel okay, not when exhaustion is pulling at her and she feels like she just trapped Red Son in something that will only hurt him again and again, and for what? For the chance to maybe have a future together eventually? ]
[ But she can't say that. Can't give in to the unimaginable stress of her situation because it's harder on him, because he'll think she doesn't have hope, doesn't believe in him. There's only one answer she can give, and it's the truth, but somehow it also feels like a lie. ]
I know.
[ Her fingers move through his hair and she curls even closer to his warmth. ]
Can you talk a bit? I can listen for longer than I can speak myself. [ Even talking wears her out, but more the point it's easier to pretend she's not scared and stressed when she doesn't have to worry about her voice shaking. And she does like hearing him. ] Tell me the next project you're going to work on for fun.
[ She flashes one of those smiles that says she's not going to stop until she gets what she wants. ]
I'm rather certain I've made it clear how much I want you. [Said gently, reaching for her hand with the bracelet.]
[He meets her gaze and huffs.] Well, I do have an idea, actually. Iggy asked me to help him design a rather interesting go kart race. The sort of thing that has unexpected obstacles, provided by the track and the racers themselves.
Good. Declarations of love are not something to hoard away. [Even as he blushes quite a bit as he says it, a few candles flickering to life around the room.]
[MK is around. Maiming will be kept to a minimum.] Hmm, there is this idea of an item to temporarily disable the car at the front of the pack. That will be challenging, since it needs to know which car IS at the front and how to avoid a full on wipe out.
Some trackers would be good, but it does mean the track has to be firmly established and also avoid confusion is there are multiple lamps. Probably a counter each time the starting line is passed.
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...more than likely, yes. Its a recorder. A robust recorder, to be sure, but if there is no reference, it can't make a copy. It likely only got as much of you as it did was because you went into it.
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In any case, I'm almost relieved. It would have been tempting if it had my whole history in there, and I can't imagine anything worse than walking through hundreds or thousands of years of memories that are mostly death and torture.
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That was also my concern. Its why I was going to wait a while to even try the tablet. Rewatching it all, especially that way...it could be far too overwhelming.
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Getting memories back suddenly, even one by one, is a shock to the system in my experience. We all went through it where we were last, and when you experience them in that way, devoid of all the surrounding context, it's more apt to cause distress.
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Hm, that does make sense. That's why I want to be careful about that. At least that should be more doable. There's plenty of magic for recalling past lives and old memories.
Just...first we need to make sure you stay awake first. So that was a secondary concern.
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I'm sure you'll figure it all out in the proper order. Staying awake is far and away the first priority. It's the first fifty. [ After this cure test actually works she will push hard not to pursue her past memories. Too much could go wrong, and all she knows of her past tells her that she doesn't want them. She doesn't want her past back, she only wants to keep her present. ]
[ -- They've gotten off track. Saya cups his face in her hands and leans close, fighting exhaustion. ] I'm sorry. We don't need to talk about that right now.
How long of a break are you taking? [ She needs to lay down. She'd prefer not to do it alone. ]
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[Not for that.]
There hours. [He gently touches her cheek, pulling her close to kiss her forehead.] If things went well, you would want affection.
...if it had gone badly, I'd have to work through the feelings somewhere. [It's hard to silence the dark thoughts.]
But I thought it'd most likely be the affection thing.
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[ She hums when he says what he would have done if this had gone badly. She can't blame him for considering it, she'd have done the same. She did do the same, as a matter of fact. ]
If your breaks are based on how often I want affection, your poor workshop will be deserted. [ She knows he just means now, her tone is obviously teasing. Besides it's not like she's constantly here, she has three thousand beds to rotate through. ]
Would you want to rest with me a while? [ And they can just pretend it's purely affectionate and not because she can't stay on her feet much longer. ]
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[Red Son was an overthinker and its easier to deal with the bad things if he already has a plan. And if he is ready to deal with the bad things, its easier to conquer his anxiety and take the risk.]
[He chuckles.] I really wanted to indulge you right now. Sometimes its fun when you have to persuade me. [He kisses her neck affectionately.]
I would. Do you want to stay here or move to the bedroom?
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You call that persuasion? What I could--
[ Saya gasps and clings to his shoulders as her knees go weak. Damn. ]
...ah. Sorry. I felt it coming on, I just...
Didn't want to ruin it. [ He went to so much effort for her. ]
I was going to say move, but... [ not happening under her own power ]
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It's all right. It's to be expected at this stage.
[He shifts then, and moves to pick her up in a princess carry.]
I can help you move. And if you're hungry or just wanting to be close without having to do much... [He kisses the side of her head.]
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Not hungry. [ Her appetite has ground to a standstill in the last day or so. ] But the second one, yes.
It's a shame, what I could do with three hours if I had any energy...
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I know. I have very much appreciated what we could do in a few hours.
But this is nice as well.
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Mmm... in that case feel free to keep it up.
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[He will lay her down on the bed, climbing in beside her and pulling up the blanket around them.]
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You know what that nickname does to me. [ Just lightly teasing, since she can't do much else about it. ]
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Then I'll eagerly await your payback later for my teasing.
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[ Lightly huffing at the payback comment. Yeah, eagerly awaiting for a few decades... she swallows hard and wills herself not to get emotional. No ruining this further. ]
Payback in spades. I'm a whirlwind of affection as a hatchling.
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[He lightly strokes her hair.] I meant when you can remember me. You have to know you're collecting payback.
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[ The thought of how long it might be before she remembers properly and can get that payback hits especially hard right now. She tries not to show it, but she's awful at hiding things. ]
I think the whirlwind of affection still applies, in that case.
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You are always a whirlwind. [Another kiss to her forehead.] Its going to be okay.
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[ She swallows hard when he kisses her head. It doesn't feel okay, not when exhaustion is pulling at her and she feels like she just trapped Red Son in something that will only hurt him again and again, and for what? For the chance to maybe have a future together eventually? ]
[ But she can't say that. Can't give in to the unimaginable stress of her situation because it's harder on him, because he'll think she doesn't have hope, doesn't believe in him. There's only one answer she can give, and it's the truth, but somehow it also feels like a lie. ]
I know.
[ Her fingers move through his hair and she curls even closer to his warmth. ]
Can you talk a bit? I can listen for longer than I can speak myself. [ Even talking wears her out, but more the point it's easier to pretend she's not scared and stressed when she doesn't have to worry about her voice shaking. And she does like hearing him. ] Tell me the next project you're going to work on for fun.
[ She flashes one of those smiles that says she's not going to stop until she gets what she wants. ]
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[He meets her gaze and huffs.] Well, I do have an idea, actually. Iggy asked me to help him design a rather interesting go kart race. The sort of thing that has unexpected obstacles, provided by the track and the racers themselves.
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Yeah? That sounds like fun. [ As long as it's not a winter setting, Oregod Trail trauma. ] What kind of obstacles? Anything challenging to recreate?
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[MK is around. Maiming will be kept to a minimum.] Hmm, there is this idea of an item to temporarily disable the car at the front of the pack. That will be challenging, since it needs to know which car IS at the front and how to avoid a full on wipe out.
Some trackers would be good, but it does mean the track has to be firmly established and also avoid confusion is there are multiple lamps. Probably a counter each time the starting line is passed.
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