[ The video opens to the seashore. Saya finishes fiddling with the camera, then goes to sit down in frame, but in such a way that the waves are visible. ]
You showed me your favorite place so many times. I thought I should show you mine.
I don't know what it is, but the sea relaxes me. It's the only thing that does so while I'm still -- you've seen me be a whirling dervish enough times to be able to guess that... oh, sorry, that means someone who can't stop moving... that moving calms me down. It makes my thoughts clear. But the sea does the same thing.
I feel like I should say something profound here, but I'm just going to talk for a while first.
[ And she does. She talks about never having a real family, and what it was like to realize she had found one, piece by piece. She talks vaguely about hell and carving out a niche of happiness there regardless of that the powers that be wanted to crush their spirits. She talks about missing her sister and how she sometimes feels guilty about that. ]
[ She talks about meeting Sky and how happy that memory makes her. How much she's going to miss their walks in the woods. How she hopes that cloak she made lasts a long time and it helps Sky remember Saya even though she's gone. ]
-- And here's the thing. I know this part might make you a little uncomfortable. It would if it were me. But I've gotta say it, just bear with me.
You're incredible. And yeah, I see you cringing. Shush now, this is my show. [ A little smile ] If it were me, I wouldn't believe it either. That's just what everyone says, right? Nah, it's not. I could have said anything for this recording, and I'm not about to lie on it.
I never believed anyone when they said that about me. "Get higher standards", I'd think. Or "yeah, but if you really knew me well enough you'd see that I'm just trash." So I'm sure you're thinking some variation on that.
But it takes so much courage to try again when you're afraid of hurting others, of getting hurt yourself. You were so hesitant to reach out when we first met, but you did. You were so nervous before your first date with Aymeric, but you did it. You asked for help and you did it. And then you thought he would never feel about you the way you felt about him, and you were willing to accept that even though it hurt.
That all makes you the best sort of person. It's easy to just believe you're great, or convince yourself of it. What's hard is knowing that you're nothing special and then doing all those things regardless. Putting yourself out there when you're so sure it's going to end in disappointment. But none of it did.
You're wonderful, Sky. Daeleth. Knowing you made my life better, even in such a short time. And I'm so happy that Aymeric and everyone got to see you shine. It was my privilege.
[ Saya pauses for a moment, not wanting to get too emotional to talk. ] I guess that's my cue. Just listen to this if you ever feel like you're not enough, okay? Because I'll know it for you. Even while I sleep.
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Date: Sep. 20th, 2023 01:33 am (UTC)You showed me your favorite place so many times. I thought I should show you mine.
I don't know what it is, but the sea relaxes me. It's the only thing that does so while I'm still -- you've seen me be a whirling dervish enough times to be able to guess that... oh, sorry, that means someone who can't stop moving... that moving calms me down. It makes my thoughts clear. But the sea does the same thing.
I feel like I should say something profound here, but I'm just going to talk for a while first.
[ And she does. She talks about never having a real family, and what it was like to realize she had found one, piece by piece. She talks vaguely about hell and carving out a niche of happiness there regardless of that the powers that be wanted to crush their spirits. She talks about missing her sister and how she sometimes feels guilty about that. ]
[ She talks about meeting Sky and how happy that memory makes her. How much she's going to miss their walks in the woods. How she hopes that cloak she made lasts a long time and it helps Sky remember Saya even though she's gone. ]
-- And here's the thing. I know this part might make you a little uncomfortable. It would if it were me. But I've gotta say it, just bear with me.
You're incredible. And yeah, I see you cringing. Shush now, this is my show. [ A little smile ] If it were me, I wouldn't believe it either. That's just what everyone says, right? Nah, it's not. I could have said anything for this recording, and I'm not about to lie on it.
I never believed anyone when they said that about me. "Get higher standards", I'd think. Or "yeah, but if you really knew me well enough you'd see that I'm just trash." So I'm sure you're thinking some variation on that.
But it takes so much courage to try again when you're afraid of hurting others, of getting hurt yourself. You were so hesitant to reach out when we first met, but you did. You were so nervous before your first date with Aymeric, but you did it. You asked for help and you did it. And then you thought he would never feel about you the way you felt about him, and you were willing to accept that even though it hurt.
That all makes you the best sort of person. It's easy to just believe you're great, or convince yourself of it. What's hard is knowing that you're nothing special and then doing all those things regardless. Putting yourself out there when you're so sure it's going to end in disappointment. But none of it did.
You're wonderful, Sky. Daeleth. Knowing you made my life better, even in such a short time. And I'm so happy that Aymeric and everyone got to see you shine. It was my privilege.
[ Saya pauses for a moment, not wanting to get too emotional to talk. ] I guess that's my cue. Just listen to this if you ever feel like you're not enough, okay? Because I'll know it for you. Even while I sleep.
I love you.
[ The video cuts off there. ]