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[sangreine]

request an audience

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[sangreine]

[ She softens a bit ]

I know they're doing it out of love, that's the only reason I haven't. It's muddled and at times really insulting but I can forgive a lot when it's for that.

Besides, I think I've got the easiest role here. I get to just... forget. Painlessly. I won't know what I lost. Everyone else has to live with it.

[abnormalizes]

They're lucky you're so understanding. Not everybody would be.

...Maybe this is just a human perspective, but the idea of forgetting everything scares me more than dying.

[sangreine]

It terrifies me now. But I've been through this before. Once the memories are gone, it doesn't hurt.

Smiling in the face of someone you love, knowing they're not that person anymore and probably never will be again, having to mourn what you lost while it's also right in front of you... that does hurt.

[abnormalizes]

-It really sucks for everyone. There's not much anyone can do to make it better, either.

I'm sorry. I can offer weird not-booze and talking about other things as a distraction.

[sangreine]

There really isn't. [ Insert a bunch of ponderings that everyone would hate here. ]

Nah. Thanks but I need to just... get over myself. I don't have a lot of time, and I'll have a lot less soon probably, I don't want to spend it this way. Even if I have to take some crap, I want to leave the people I love with more than a giant burden to haul around with them.

[abnormalizes]

Leave them with some good memories. Probably the best thing you can do.

Well, if it helps any, I brought enough enkephalin for the household, so if you want to get smashed with your housemates later you can.