It terrifies me now. But I've been through this before. Once the memories are gone, it doesn't hurt.
Smiling in the face of someone you love, knowing they're not that person anymore and probably never will be again, having to mourn what you lost while it's also right in front of you... that does hurt.
There really isn't. [ Insert a bunch of ponderings that everyone would hate here. ]
Nah. Thanks but I need to just... get over myself. I don't have a lot of time, and I'll have a lot less soon probably, I don't want to spend it this way. Even if I have to take some crap, I want to leave the people I love with more than a giant burden to haul around with them.
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(no subject)
Date: Aug. 1st, 2023 11:36 pm (UTC)...Maybe this is just a human perspective, but the idea of forgetting everything scares me more than dying.
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 1st, 2023 11:51 pm (UTC)Smiling in the face of someone you love, knowing they're not that person anymore and probably never will be again, having to mourn what you lost while it's also right in front of you... that does hurt.
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 1st, 2023 11:55 pm (UTC)I'm sorry. I can offer weird not-booze and talking about other things as a distraction.
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 2nd, 2023 12:35 am (UTC)Nah. Thanks but I need to just... get over myself. I don't have a lot of time, and I'll have a lot less soon probably, I don't want to spend it this way. Even if I have to take some crap, I want to leave the people I love with more than a giant burden to haul around with them.
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 2nd, 2023 12:39 am (UTC)Well, if it helps any, I brought enough enkephalin for the household, so if you want to get smashed with your housemates later you can.