[ The letter is written in artistic, flowing calligraphy, and the language is far more formal than her usual speech and manner -- 1800s habits. ]
Izanagi -
I thought it best to attempt a form of communication I can't divert into some manner of chaos; if this is unwelcome, I certainly understand that. With the knowledge that I have no right to insist upon more of your time than I've taken, I'll come to the point: I owe you an apology.
Rest assured that I'm not seeking forgiveness, nor any response whatsoever. You've asked for space, and I'll respect it to the extent this place and its strangeness permits. I hadn't intended this much; however, someone requested that I consider my situation, and this is where it ultimately led.
Without belaboring the point overmuch, what I've said to you wasn't right, and it was nothing more than someone in pain lashing out because it felt easier. It's hardly fair to blame you for not understanding what I haven't cared to share, but truly it's nothing unique: the thought of having hope frightens me, and so I did as every beast does when cornered. Nothing you've done made me feel bad about myself. I did those things on my own, and I thrash against any measure of hope because of my failure to find a better recompense to those I've wronged than to make sure I continue to suffer, evidently at any cost.
Even knowing you were most likely right about everything, I'm not certain I could receive it any better now, or that I'll be in any such position before my time runs out. The only things I can promise are these: first, that if you care to know what I've done that I'd punish myself and everyone around me so, I owe you at least that much. Second, that I'll consider what you tried to impart without asking any more of you.
Thank you for what you gave of yourself, I'll endeavor not to make it in vain.
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Letter to Izanagi - Written Day 470 and given to Doctor to deliver (if wanted)
Date: Jun. 5th, 2022 08:25 pm (UTC)Izanagi -
I thought it best to attempt a form of communication I can't divert into some manner of chaos; if this is unwelcome, I certainly understand that. With the knowledge that I have no right to insist upon more of your time than I've taken, I'll come to the point: I owe you an apology.
Rest assured that I'm not seeking forgiveness, nor any response whatsoever. You've asked for space, and I'll respect it to the extent this place and its strangeness permits. I hadn't intended this much; however, someone requested that I consider my situation, and this is where it ultimately led.
Without belaboring the point overmuch, what I've said to you wasn't right, and it was nothing more than someone in pain lashing out because it felt easier. It's hardly fair to blame you for not understanding what I haven't cared to share, but truly it's nothing unique: the thought of having hope frightens me, and so I did as every beast does when cornered. Nothing you've done made me feel bad about myself. I did those things on my own, and I thrash against any measure of hope because of my failure to find a better recompense to those I've wronged than to make sure I continue to suffer, evidently at any cost.
Even knowing you were most likely right about everything, I'm not certain I could receive it any better now, or that I'll be in any such position before my time runs out. The only things I can promise are these: first, that if you care to know what I've done that I'd punish myself and everyone around me so, I owe you at least that much. Second, that I'll consider what you tried to impart without asking any more of you.
Thank you for what you gave of yourself, I'll endeavor not to make it in vain.
Alizarin