And obviously I don't know my exact feelings. I'm figuring things out, but also I'm not so naive as to not see some writing on the wall.
At least the possibilities.
If I can fall in love with you, and there are numerous intense and similar feelings for the Dragon Girl, if not for the same reasons, just the general....sensation of feelings, it stands to reason that, given time...
What if I did fall for her too?
And that is the tangentially related because...
Well, I know our boundaries when it comes to flings and the like, but honestly, I never really thought I would have a serious interest in someone else and what that means.
I know you have people you love that aren't me, but also just assuming that its the same for me feels like poor form.
[ This is only a little bit where she thought this was heading. But it's not a difficult answer, at least. ]
If you fall for her too, then I'd support you. I'd be happy for you.
I have a good deal of experience with this. My instincts are what they are, but I manage them. [ "I'm possessive as hell but I've trained myself out of reacting most of the time". ]
What I want most is your happiness. I'd like to be part of that happiness, but I've never assumed I'd be the only piece of it. When I said I consider you an equal, I meant it in all ways. I love more than one person, and I'd never restrict you from that.
[ Royals get harems, them's the rules. If Mei (OR WHOEVER) tried to force Saya out of things there might be problems, but that's a bridge no one can possibly cross right now. If it happens, they'll deal with it. MK already said he wouldn't want Saya to give up what she and Red Son have, incidentally enough, so that's good to have in her back pocket. ]
I don't need to know about flings. [ In fact she almost prefers not to, but sometimes things crop up. ] More serious ones, I'd prefer to know when you do. And my husband is absolutely off limits for romantic entanglements -- not that it's a worry, he doesn't get involved with others in that way, that's not how our arrangement works. [ Bless him. ]
[His voice is soft. Genuine. Easier to say when he doesn't have to look at her, when his flustered embarrassment might make it hard when he's dealing with. Other feelings.]
But also with the rate people from home are showing up, and if the Dragon Girl showed up, and then she starts blindsiding me as she tends to do...
I didn't want to be in it before I could try to counter it.
If I have a reason to resist, I could, but it would have been harder to try after the fact and...
I didn't want to hurt you.
[A pause.]
Romantic entanglements are just romantic feelings, or does that include flings?
[ That is nice to hear. Incredibly nice. He really does better when he's not looking at her, and probably while his hands are busy. Duly noted. ]
I'd never give you a reason to resist your feelings for anyone else. Especially not someone you have such a bond with. As long as you don't shut me out, I never will. [ It's that easy. And he's made her feel quite the opposite of neglected so far. ]
As far as not hurting me... don't put up walls between us. That's all it takes, for the big picture. And I'm quite good by now at asking for what I want and need, so you won't have to wonder about the small things.
[ She laughs a bit. ] You're fine. Flings with Kantera are okay -- meaning, anything where romantic feelings aren't involved is permissible -- I just can't really talk about it much. I mean, I can, obviously we are right now, but if my possessiveness is going to flare up anywhere, it'd be about him. If it happens to come up casually then that's okay, just...
I can banter about a lot, but not about him and someone else.
[ She sort of expects that Red Son will get this. He has a claiming instinct too, and you can't get more claimed than being married. ]
I could never shut you out. [A pause.] As a longterm thing. My grace when it comes to emotions is...at times erratic, but it would not be a shift in the relationship paradigm. Just...my not dealing with something well.
It would be a temporary state of being.
[Listen, his family didn't deal with grief well and frankly its good she's a bully because he'll need it sometimes.]
[There is a sigh of relief.] All right. I just wished to check. And I wouldn't ask you to barter about him. Obviously he is always yours. I just wanted clarity.
...as well as the...
Dragon Girl situation. Which may not even come to pass, I can hardly claim to know of her own interests. I would say it would be a ludicrous possibility, but considering her choice of friendships, her taste may genuinely be that bad.
Which is not disparaging at myself, but usually murder attempts is not a love language.
I know. You've been quite clear about that. [ She hasn't seen it, but she knows it's accurate. ] I've told you, I also have a temper. Less so now, but if I come around to being a hatchling again I'm quicker on the draw.
I've learned how to cope with such moments by the way I was handled, thankfully. [ She can be taught! With time and a dump truck of patience. Fortunately Red Son missed the tutorial stage and now he's attached so he might actually not be driven to the brink of sanity by her ridiculousness. ]
[ She laughs again. Wryly. ] You're talking to someone whose natural mates are her enemies. I understand wanting to worship someone and murder them at once all too well. And if my understanding of mortal relationships is anything resembling accurate then it seems fairly normal there, too.
And given how you've reacted to seeing me fight in the past... [ she's just saying, there's precedent. ]
[Admittedly, Saya gets to sidestep a majority of them by getting around his worries about living up to his status and what his parents would think by being a powerful vampire queen and not literal former mortal enemies. That goes a very long way.]
Noted. Though I can usually deal with tempers. [Well, from other people. Maybe it will be harder from Saya, always hard to say when he's Personally Invested.]
Admittedly, there are a great many love stories that start on the battlefield. My parents met on the battlefield, but after that battle, father grew very uninterested in the fight with mother in his view.
And violence is less commonplace these days. Mortals are much softer, even demons.
Killing people is treated more severely than it was even a century before.
Also you've never tried to kill me and strength is always attractive.
[ She'll take a Cheat Code now and then when it gets her what she wants. Thinking that his parents would approve of her honestly delights her, she hopes she gets to meet them as herself and not as a glowing chrysalis that represents more time stolen from their son. ]
There's a reason for that. Violence and attraction kick up many of the same hormones. There's a reason I prefer the blood of those who have been fighting or who I've gotten in a different sort of ruffled state.
--Speaking of strength and attraction. I might have found something of interest to you. A topical treatment that suppresses otherworldly abilities, temporarily. I wanted you to test it before we actually try it, but...
[ She got it from a customer of all things, but went to the shop herself and it's not counterfeit or anything. Just highly kink-specific. ]
If the store owner is to be believed, one could control how long marks stay on me. Spring powers would still work on them, and it wears off eventually, depending on how much you use.
[ If she's going under in 6 weeks or so, she wants him to have some memories of that time with her that aren't just work. ]
Glad to hear it.
Want me to run the thing by sometime so you can make sure it's safe? [ She'd offer to leave it on his doorstep or something but with his luck the monkeys will find it and ask questions and then the house will be a smoking crater. ]
I must admit, this is on the short list of things I want to do before my next test. It's been on my mind for days. Different sort of trouble sleeping than you're having. [ Maybe not so different at this point, though. ]
I don't think it would hold up to fire. You can clean it off with water, according to the instructions. [ She was thorough in her examination! At least as much as she can be without test tubes at her disposal. This is a novelty toy, not a torture device. ]
As soon as you're sure it's safe, then. For the sake of my impatience.
[ Hopefully he's not still holding anything breakable-- ] I would never have thought I'd like the idea as much as I do. But if a lingering mark causes even a fraction of what I feel when your teeth bite into me...
Yes, but my fire is also a natural power. I just want to make absolutely sure there's not a surprise. I'm sure in any case, there's a way to make it work. [Either bring precise on how much is on her skin, or just be ready to drink some of it in an emergency. He's a true omnivore and hard to poison biologically, it's probably fine.]
[Or he purifies her blood in his mouth. Now that is a thought. He would need to drink less water then.]
[There is another crackle of fire.] I'm eager too.
I like how your marks look on me. I really want to see them longer on you.
I'm sure there is. I have faith in you. [ And that he's as interested in this idea as she is. ]
It's quite different, seeing them on someone else. Tangible evidence that they're yours, for the moment. And in my case, something I've only experienced with you. [ None of her other partners, not her Chevaliers, no one has been allowed to bite her before. ]
With a lingering mark it'll be impossible for me to move without tugging it or twinging it, and so impossible to keep it out of mind. Constantly remembering the bite that put it there. That alone could turn my eyes gold.
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(no subject)
Date: Aug. 17th, 2023 09:03 pm (UTC)At least the possibilities.
If I can fall in love with you, and there are numerous intense and similar feelings for the Dragon Girl, if not for the same reasons, just the general....sensation of feelings, it stands to reason that, given time...
What if I did fall for her too?
And that is the tangentially related because...
Well, I know our boundaries when it comes to flings and the like, but honestly, I never really thought I would have a serious interest in someone else and what that means.
I know you have people you love that aren't me, but also just assuming that its the same for me feels like poor form.
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 17th, 2023 09:14 pm (UTC)If you fall for her too, then I'd support you. I'd be happy for you.
I have a good deal of experience with this. My instincts are what they are, but I manage them. [ "I'm possessive as hell but I've trained myself out of reacting most of the time". ]
What I want most is your happiness. I'd like to be part of that happiness, but I've never assumed I'd be the only piece of it. When I said I consider you an equal, I meant it in all ways. I love more than one person, and I'd never restrict you from that.
[ Royals get harems, them's the rules. If Mei (OR WHOEVER) tried to force Saya out of things there might be problems, but that's a bridge no one can possibly cross right now. If it happens, they'll deal with it. MK already said he wouldn't want Saya to give up what she and Red Son have, incidentally enough, so that's good to have in her back pocket. ]
I don't need to know about flings. [ In fact she almost prefers not to, but sometimes things crop up. ] More serious ones, I'd prefer to know when you do. And my husband is absolutely off limits for romantic entanglements -- not that it's a worry, he doesn't get involved with others in that way, that's not how our arrangement works. [ Bless him. ]
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 17th, 2023 09:27 pm (UTC)[His voice is soft. Genuine. Easier to say when he doesn't have to look at her, when his flustered embarrassment might make it hard when he's dealing with. Other feelings.]
But also with the rate people from home are showing up, and if the Dragon Girl showed up, and then she starts blindsiding me as she tends to do...
I didn't want to be in it before I could try to counter it.
If I have a reason to resist, I could, but it would have been harder to try after the fact and...
I didn't want to hurt you.
[A pause.]
Romantic entanglements are just romantic feelings, or does that include flings?
[WAS THERE]
[A MISCALCULATION THERE]
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 17th, 2023 09:41 pm (UTC)I'd never give you a reason to resist your feelings for anyone else. Especially not someone you have such a bond with. As long as you don't shut me out, I never will. [ It's that easy. And he's made her feel quite the opposite of neglected so far. ]
As far as not hurting me... don't put up walls between us. That's all it takes, for the big picture. And I'm quite good by now at asking for what I want and need, so you won't have to wonder about the small things.
[ She laughs a bit. ] You're fine. Flings with Kantera are okay -- meaning, anything where romantic feelings aren't involved is permissible -- I just can't really talk about it much. I mean, I can, obviously we are right now, but if my possessiveness is going to flare up anywhere, it'd be about him. If it happens to come up casually then that's okay, just...
I can banter about a lot, but not about him and someone else.
[ She sort of expects that Red Son will get this. He has a claiming instinct too, and you can't get more claimed than being married. ]
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 17th, 2023 10:23 pm (UTC)It would be a temporary state of being.
[Listen, his family didn't deal with grief well and frankly its good she's a bully because he'll need it sometimes.]
[There is a sigh of relief.] All right. I just wished to check. And I wouldn't ask you to barter about him. Obviously he is always yours. I just wanted clarity.
...as well as the...
Dragon Girl situation. Which may not even come to pass, I can hardly claim to know of her own interests. I would say it would be a ludicrous possibility, but considering her choice of friendships, her taste may genuinely be that bad.
Which is not disparaging at myself, but usually murder attempts is not a love language.
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 17th, 2023 10:31 pm (UTC)I've learned how to cope with such moments by the way I was handled, thankfully. [ She can be taught! With time and a dump truck of patience. Fortunately Red Son missed the tutorial stage and now he's attached so he might actually not be driven to the brink of sanity by her ridiculousness. ]
[ She laughs again. Wryly. ] You're talking to someone whose natural mates are her enemies. I understand wanting to worship someone and murder them at once all too well. And if my understanding of mortal relationships is anything resembling accurate then it seems fairly normal there, too.
And given how you've reacted to seeing me fight in the past... [ she's just saying, there's precedent. ]
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 17th, 2023 11:05 pm (UTC)Noted. Though I can usually deal with tempers. [Well, from other people. Maybe it will be harder from Saya, always hard to say when he's Personally Invested.]
Admittedly, there are a great many love stories that start on the battlefield. My parents met on the battlefield, but after that battle, father grew very uninterested in the fight with mother in his view.
And violence is less commonplace these days. Mortals are much softer, even demons.
Killing people is treated more severely than it was even a century before.
Also you've never tried to kill me and strength is always attractive.
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 17th, 2023 11:16 pm (UTC)There's a reason for that. Violence and attraction kick up many of the same hormones. There's a reason I prefer the blood of those who have been fighting or who I've gotten in a different sort of ruffled state.
--Speaking of strength and attraction. I might have found something of interest to you. A topical treatment that suppresses otherworldly abilities, temporarily. I wanted you to test it before we actually try it, but...
[ She got it from a customer of all things, but went to the shop herself and it's not counterfeit or anything. Just highly kink-specific. ]
If the store owner is to be believed, one could control how long marks stay on me. Spring powers would still work on them, and it wears off eventually, depending on how much you use.
[ Interested? ]
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 17th, 2023 11:23 pm (UTC)[Excuse him, there may a crash of breaking glass and sudden cursing.]
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 17th, 2023 11:25 pm (UTC)My, I hope that wasn't anything important.
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 17th, 2023 11:31 pm (UTC)I can-
Easily remake it.
It's fine! [Oh his voice definitely raised a few octaves.]
I-
Would be interested.
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 17th, 2023 11:35 pm (UTC)I was hoping so. It seems perfect. Since it sits on the skin, it can only cause superficial injuries, no risk of anything serious.
[ And since it's meant for kinky stuff it's not toxic, not that it matters since he burns her blood off and anything else would be gone too. ]
I figure if anything could get you to stop working and relax for a little while this might do the trick. For a given definition of "relax".
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 17th, 2023 11:47 pm (UTC)[Work important. But also.]
[BUT ALSO]
I could-
Definitely work that into my schedule.
For sure.
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 17th, 2023 11:54 pm (UTC)Glad to hear it.
Want me to run the thing by sometime so you can make sure it's safe? [ She'd offer to leave it on his doorstep or something but with his luck the monkeys will find it and ask questions and then the house will be a smoking crater. ]
I must admit, this is on the short list of things I want to do before my next test. It's been on my mind for days. Different sort of trouble sleeping than you're having. [ Maybe not so different at this point, though. ]
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 18th, 2023 12:05 am (UTC)I-yes. I should also test how potent it is. Wouldn't want for it to put out the fire in my mouth. I can test with a blood bag.
[A definite fwoosh.] Yeah, I-I would like to use it before the next test.
[It may not make her hibernate, BUT IT MIGHT, and then it could be a long while until he figures things out.]
[It's a memory he'd like himself, just in case.]
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 18th, 2023 12:15 am (UTC)As soon as you're sure it's safe, then. For the sake of my impatience.
[ Hopefully he's not still holding anything breakable-- ] I would never have thought I'd like the idea as much as I do. But if a lingering mark causes even a fraction of what I feel when your teeth bite into me...
[ A breathy sigh ]
[ (Not sorry.) ]
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 18th, 2023 07:02 pm (UTC)[Or he purifies her blood in his mouth. Now that is a thought. He would need to drink less water then.]
[There is another crackle of fire.] I'm eager too.
I like how your marks look on me. I really want to see them longer on you.
(no subject)
Date: Aug. 18th, 2023 07:41 pm (UTC)It's quite different, seeing them on someone else. Tangible evidence that they're yours, for the moment. And in my case, something I've only experienced with you. [ None of her other partners, not her Chevaliers, no one has been allowed to bite her before. ]
With a lingering mark it'll be impossible for me to move without tugging it or twinging it, and so impossible to keep it out of mind. Constantly remembering the bite that put it there. That alone could turn my eyes gold.