"You did no such thing." He very clearly remembers who threw him into that cello, and it wasn't Saya. "You trusted someone who was undeserving of it, but you didn't hurt me."
"I may as well have. I brought him here. I fought for him to be here. I didn't want to believe the risk was real. Then I was off on some stupid quest when you needed me, and a whole house full of people besides."
She shakes her head hard. "Don't ask me to forgive myself. I should know better by now, given how this keeps happening."
She's never asked him to call her Saya. Corrected him several times the opposite way, in fact. She maintained that she was Aliza because she didn't want to be Saya.
"I'm Saya. I'm the one who kills the ones I love, my family. I'm the one who stands oblivious until they hurt people and I have to stop them. That's who I am."
"You are more than only that. You are the woman I love, who has supported me in the worst times of my life. And..."
He hates saying this, but he doesn't know how else to get through to her. "To be asked to stand aside and watch as you torture yourself for what happened to me, hurts me. This is hurting me."
She's hurting him. Hurting him more. For a long moment, she doesn't breathe. (She hears the crackle of rain on stone as she stands over Diva's statue, Haji's arms around her, wailing.)
In a rush, whatever strength she has left leaves her and she crashes to her knees, ending up with her head bowed forward so that her short hair covers her face.
She doesn't wail, but she does cover her face and sob. It feels like the only thing she can do.
If he approaches her, for once she won't fight it.
Of course he kneels down next to her. There's no situation in the universe where he wouldn't go to Saya as she cries. He reaches out to try to squeeze her shoulder gently, if she'll allow that much.
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Re: action
Date: Jul. 9th, 2024 10:53 pm (UTC)Re: action
Date: Jul. 9th, 2024 10:56 pm (UTC)She shakes her head hard. "Don't ask me to forgive myself. I should know better by now, given how this keeps happening."
Re: action
Date: Jul. 9th, 2024 11:01 pm (UTC)And, more importantly...
"Alizarin. I cannot stand to see you so miserable and not even be allowed to attempt to comfort you."
Re: action
Date: Jul. 9th, 2024 11:04 pm (UTC)She's never asked him to call her Saya. Corrected him several times the opposite way, in fact. She maintained that she was Aliza because she didn't want to be Saya.
"I'm Saya. I'm the one who kills the ones I love, my family. I'm the one who stands oblivious until they hurt people and I have to stop them. That's who I am."
She doesn't deserve comfort for it.
Re: action
Date: Jul. 9th, 2024 11:09 pm (UTC)He hates saying this, but he doesn't know how else to get through to her. "To be asked to stand aside and watch as you torture yourself for what happened to me, hurts me. This is hurting me."
Re: action
Date: Jul. 9th, 2024 11:16 pm (UTC)In a rush, whatever strength she has left leaves her and she crashes to her knees, ending up with her head bowed forward so that her short hair covers her face.
She doesn't wail, but she does cover her face and sob. It feels like the only thing she can do.
If he approaches her, for once she won't fight it.
Re: action
Date: Jul. 9th, 2024 11:21 pm (UTC)Re: action
Date: Jul. 9th, 2024 11:34 pm (UTC)And then she flops over to cry on his shoulder.
Re: action
Date: Jul. 9th, 2024 11:38 pm (UTC)"I love you. I love you more than anything in the world. We'll get through this together."
That's all he truly wants - is for her not to take everything on alone.