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[sangreine]

request an audience

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Text - UN: MonkieMan

[noodleboi]

It's Candid. I'm reaching out because I want to talk with you. If you are up to talking to me, that is.

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[sangreine]

That depends what you want to talk about.

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[noodleboi]

The Heart Game and what happened inside it. And I want to apologize too.

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[sangreine]

I don't think I'm the one you need to apologize to, but if you feel a need to...

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[noodleboi]

I have a lot of people to apologize too. You are one of them. Can I come over? If you're not ready, I understand. I just feel I should say it to you in person.

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[sangreine]

...All right. You can come over.

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[noodleboi]

Be there soon.

[It isn't long before Candid knocks on the door. He was over at Red Son's place so not a long walk to get here. He swallows and waits. He's sure he doesn't have the right to just walk in anymore.]

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[sangreine]

Saya opens the door, and stands to the side so Candid can come in.

"Would you like some tea or anything?"

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[noodleboi]

"Tea sounds good. Thank you." He walks in and swallows. He takes off his shoes and will follow Saya into the kitchen.

"I want to ask too how are you? After everything..."

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[sangreine]

Saya walks into the kitchen and heats the full kettle with a touch of her hand, then she pours two cups of green tea with jasmine. She slides one over to Candid.

"I almost got MK killed, so..." Not very well.

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[noodleboi]

Candid takes his cup and sips the hot tea. He blinks.

"I was the one who almost got the original killed."

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[sangreine]

"But if I hadn't killed that doll, you wouldn't have been able to try. I set it in motion. Because all I do is hurt and kill things, and you must have seen that in me to give me that setup."

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[noodleboi]

"That wasn't why I set things up the way I did. Honestly, that was plan C because Macaque and Wukong ruined my plan A. Then Macaque and Red Son ruined plan B. I saw that you would do anything to protect the people you love. And knowing a battle doll Wukong is like a huge fuck that kinda thing, I let the idea of it build into a genuine fear. And then you destroying Wukong made things fracture so I could get Little MK finally. I didn't do it because I knew all you do is hurt and kill, Saya. I did it because you protect and are willing to fight the biggest scariest things to protect the people you cherish most."

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[sangreine]

She shakes her head.

"Artsy had already run away by then, and the others weren't there yet. I could have run away and spared the doll, but I didn't. I killed it because I wanted to. Because I don't know any other way to do things. It wasn't protection, it was vengeance."

She wipes at a few tears. "I wish I was the person you think I am, that everyone thinks I am. But I'm not."

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[noodleboi]

Candid is quiet for a moment. He blows on his tea as he thinks.

"I'm not the good person anyone thought I was. Or the good person I thought I was. But if people see the goodness in us, it can't all be their imagination, can it? So...we have the good and the bad. I try to be helpful and become obsessive with people I love at the detriment of others. I went full yandere monster. Yes. You kill and hurt people. And you feel guilty for it after. That guilt means something, doesn't it?"

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[sangreine]

"I'm not sure if the guilt means much. I still did the terrible thing. Feeling guilty doesn't fix it or make it better."

"I wish I wouldn't do those terrible things in the first place. Or I wish I could sleep and forget them. Start over. I've been wishing that Red Son never fixed my hibernation cycle. I've wished for that so often. When I'm sleeping seems to the the only time I'm not hurting anyone."

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[noodleboi]

"...Doing the terrible thing or things doesn't mean it invalidates all the good and kind things you do for people. That...is sad to hear. Saya, do you think on or remember the good things you've done for people? The ones you've saved, the people who have fallen in love with you, and friends who care about you? Or is it just the bad things that seem to stick right now?"

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[sangreine]

"The bad things, and the fear. Fear that it's only a matter of time before I hurt or destroy the people I love."

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[noodleboi]

"Can you try to remember the good? How you and Kantera fell in love? Got married? How you and Wukong hit it off? How you helped Red Son discover new aspects of himself and how he fell in love with you too?"

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[sangreine]

"Don't you think I've tried? Anytime I think of something that makes me happy, I see myself ruining it."

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[noodleboi]

"Even the memories of good things that happened without anything bad happening during them?"

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[sangreine]

"Even then. It's like I have a block about anything that might make me feel better."

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[noodleboi]

"...Are you punishing yourself?"

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[sangreine]

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I?"

Re: Text - UN: MonkieMan

[noodleboi]

"How long do you think you deserve to be punished for what almost happened but didn't?"