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[sangreine]

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[sangreine]

I've been laying around a lot, so I figured I'd dress for it. [ She manages a smile in return, also genuinely happy to see him and also somewhat drained. ]

Besides, if I'm finally getting to see your nest I figured I should fit the vibe.

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

You fit the vibe no matter what you wear.

[He chuckles and steps inside, holding the door for her.]

[sangreine]

Oh, well. That's a relief.

[ In she goes, following him to wherever he'll be leading. Fidgeting a little but not abundantly more than usual. ]

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

If you didn't something would be really wrong. And I mean REALLY wrong.

[He leads her inside, out through the garden/training area...where a certain rotted out peach trees lays...then inside, up the stairs, and into his bedroom.

He's collected a few random odds, but the room is pretty sparse outside of the nest, which is an assortment of the softest blankets and pillows he could find and a couple of soft pelts. It's obvious where most of his quest money went those first two months.]

Well here it is. Make yourself at home.

[sangreine]

[ She's not quite sure how much is wrong, exactly. But it seems not enough to kick up a fuss over until told otherwise. She takes a seat on the edge of the nest, running her fingers through one of the pelts. ]

So, you had something to talk about?

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

[Well he meant between them, so nothing is wrong there.

Flopping backwards into the nest, he sighs.]

It's kind of about the other night...but mostly about Macaque. Since...he kind of may have made things about you. And that maaay have set me off in a way I'm not proud of.

[sangreine]

[ She has no idea what to make of that. She and Macaque haven't even met. ]

Okay... I don't really understand why.

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

Because you're my friend. You were an easy target to hurt me with. And...he seemed to have problems with you being a vampire.

I don't know if that was low-hanging fruit, or he really has that issue, but the main thing was you accepting me without expecting me to change.

[sangreine]

[ Have problems with her being a-- ]

I guess that all makes sense, I'm an outsider after all. [ Apparently Macaque knows MK enough to not make it a thing there, and she couldn't begin to guess about the deal with Red Son. ]

So, a few things.

First, I don't care what he thinks about me accepting you as you are, it's not his business. Second, I'm sorry that was used to hurt you, that's not okay. I don't care what history you have.

And third, I can understand someone having a problem with vampires as a matter of principle, however distasteful I find that. He might just be worried about you and is showing it in really awful ways.

[ She scoots over so she can give him a hug. Or lay on him. Or both. ]

Whatever his reasons, you didn't deserve that. And I know that from him it probably cut deep.

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

I know it doesn't bother you, or even affect you that much. But I figured you should know in case it comes up when you're around.

[He returns the hug, wrapping his arms around her so they can lay comfortably.]

One of the things that really cut was him pushing the blame for MK's heartbreak on you, especially when it turns out he slept with Red Son and let him mark him...just to twist the knife.

But...that's jumping ahead a little.

[sangreine]

[ Cuddles will continue until morale improves. She needs them just as much, albeit not about this. ]

It bothers me that you're bothered, that's all I need to know.

[ She waits though, since it seems there's an order here and she doesn't want to plow over whatever he needs to say ]

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

Thanks, Saya.

[He's quiet for a moment, just collecting his thoughts.]

He basically called me out on either running from, or killing all of my problems, including disappearing after everything with DBK. And...when I said I had been tired after losing everything, he told me that I was acting like a martyr because I got to keep my life. And he left.

[sangreine]

[ She strokes his fur while he lets it out. It sounds like a lot of very old arguments got suddenly revived. ]

It sounds like he's picking out the most tender spots and attacking those. Your making new friends, sealing the Demon Bull King, all that. I know how I'd react if someone started poking the equivalent spots on me. [ It's enough to make her feel protective, which might be evident in her tone. ]

And... he was the last person you really were open with, yes? I know how hard you worked to be able to open yourself up again. So I can see why this is bringing up a lot.

[ A gentle squeeze ]

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

Yeah, he was.

[Poking, the last person he was really open with. The person he had cared the most about for the longest time.]

Then it was time to go after the gang, and Macaque was basically flaunting what he was doing with Red Son...after saying so many horrible things around you...and basically making me feel like my loss didn't matter...and...I thought we had been making progress before that. Before here.

And we started fighting when the job was done. Like we were telling two different stories. I was talking about him leaving me behind for more than 500 years. He was talking about what happened when I chose to seriously injure him to protect my new friends.

And I don't know if he meant to, it didn't matter in the moment...Red Son took his side. And everything went into no context theater after that.

[sangreine]

[ She can see why Macaque and Red Son get along so well, they both have a Wukong Can't Do Anything Right mental filter. ]

[ (Also, how did Macaque even know that Saya said she accepts Wukong as he is? Did Red Son tell him? If so she'd be furious, but she tucks it away for now.) ]

I have a couple of questions, but I want to let you get everything out first.

[ She nuzzles her way into whatever area is most accessible. Purring slightly, an attempt at comfort. ]

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

[He actually tilts his head so she can nuzzle his chin.]

The last thing I remember doing was calling him out on why he has anything to do about me given the message he clearly sent the last time he came around.

Then Red Son said I was going into extremes.

I think that's when I lost it. Everything was just feelings and faces after that.

Macaque turned up here after that. We talked a little. He apologized. I apologized. I asked us to put off any in-depth talks so I don't ruin it because I don't feel in control of myself for it yet.

[sangreine]

[ Chin nuzzles it is, then. And more gentle squeezes. (She honestly has no idea what's gotten into Red Son, he should have stayed out of that.) ]

Did he agree to keep it off your plate until you're ready? [ Or does she need to go turn Macaque into a pelt, cause she will. ]

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

[He chirps and relaxes.]

He did. He actually thought I was asking him to leave. But neither of us really wanted it.

[sangreine]

He definitely wanted to stay. Or he'd have just gone.

[ Saya might be neck-deep in her own grief right now but she still is who she is, she's quite confident about that. ]

I'm going to ask this, and it's okay if you don't have an answer. You never have to push yourself beyond what you're comfortable with for me, okay?

Do you still love him?

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

That's a good question. There's a lot of pain there. But it's not like I think I'm completely innocent.

[He rests his chin on her head.]

I know I miss us being together though.

[sangreine]

[ In her mind that's basically a yes. ]

I can see why he'd argue with you about your mutual past. But it strikes me that bringing me up is a total outlier there. I mean, where did that come from? Why would he make a point to insult someone he doesn't even know and be so bothered about my accepting you?

The only answer I can figure is that he thinks you're moving on without him and it hurts him. I know the way he reacted wasn't kind, or fair, or reasonable. But trust me that nothing inspires irrationality like jealousy.

And he went to see you. Didn't want to leave.

He misses you, too.

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

That's...easier to believe now.

But it's almost funny since I was always pretty sure he moved on first.

[sangreine]

Because he didn't go back after you fought? [ She's taking a guess. ]

That could be a lot of things, including stubbornness if he's prone to that. Or that he didn't know how to broach the subject. Or that he didn't want to get hurt again.

But, another thing to trust me on, just because there's distance, or even active arguing, doesn't mean there's less love. My ex and I fought like cats and dogs sometimes. Part of it was me being unreasonable because I thought I was a replacement for someone else, actually, sort of the reverse of how he might think he's been replaced by someone who doesn't want you to change.

I'm not saying you need to roll over and take shoddy treatment, goodness knows I would never want you hurt. I am saying that when you love someone, the simplest things can be like pulling teeth.

[ She draws a shaky breath. ] One of my partners, we couldn't see our feelings for each other until we got in a mindshare. And we got along stunningly well, never had a single argument that wasn't caused by mind control. People have blind spots. Especially about things they fear might be true.

--I just want you to be happy. And it seems like making things work there would maybe do that.

[retirementsnotsopeachy]

Yeah, I mean...I don't blame him for not coming back, but it still feels like a few centuries is a long time to be stubborn if you still care.

And some things happened once I was freed that I'm not really up for talking about right now...and I dunno, I just...I thought we were working toward that before we got here.

[He holds her a little tighter.]

He did ask if I thought it was too late the other day...

[sangreine]

[ Saya shifts to press a light kiss beneath his chin. ]

Assumptions are the death of happiness when it comes to emotions. When we try to rationalize what people do with their hurt feelings in the harsh light of day, it often doesn't work out. You won't really know unless you talk to him and he's willing to tell you honestly.

--Which I'm not trying to press you into. I promise.

[ Hm? That's certainly something. ]

I'm guessing you don't know if it's too late or not. Probably he doesn't either.

But no one says that unless they're hoping, with at least some part of themselves, that there's a chance.

And, speaking solely for myself, you're well worth fighting for. Even has long and hard as the two of you have fought.